Aborted Women: In Their Own Words

Other Options

by Shiloa B.
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I am writing this to let people know that abortion is not your only choice, sometimes you just have to look really hard to see your other options.

At 14 I left home. My mother had been abusive to me my entire life and when she found out I wasn't a virgin the abuse became worse. I ran away and moved in with my boyfriend. It was the summer before I was to enter high school and I had just started having sex.

My boyfriend was 18 and we had only been together a short time before our son was conceived. I knew in my heart that I was pregnant at least a month before it was confirmed by a Planned Parenthood clinic. I went to the clinic with my best friend. Because we were too young to drive we rode the bus. After being told I was pregnant I called my boyfriend, who was at work, and told him the news. He said "Oh", and that was it. He got off of work and rode the bus back home with my friend and me. He refused to let me know how he felt or what he thought we should do. He just said he needed to go think and left me all alone that night.

I spent the night debating with myself. In one moment I had myself convinced abortion was the only answer and in the next instant I knew I couldn't do it. How could I be a mom, I was only 14??? I had no job, I wasn't even old enough to work. How would I support a baby??? Finally after days of agonizing over the decision I chose adoption.

My boyfriend and I broke up and my parents tried to force me back home but I feared for the safety of myself and my baby. I finally found a CPS worker who cared and had myself placed in foster care. I lived in the home of a foster family for the duration of my pregnancy. I went to counseling to deal with my feelings from my childhood. With the support of a counselor and with many hours of soul searching I decided I was going to keep my baby and be the best mom possible. I knew I would be doing it on my own but I finally gained the faith in myself to know I could do it.

My son was born May 12 and I started summer school in July. Because I hadn't gone to school wile I was pregnant I had lots of making up to do. I went to an alternative school with a daycare full time and worked at the local hospital part time. I stayed in the foster home but paid rent for my son and took full responsibility for him. When he was three I had my 18th birthday and we moved into our own place. I graduated a few months later. I was never prouder than I was at the moment I received my diploma wile looking into the eyes of my three year old son. I kept working at the hospital but had gone from doing housekeeping work to doing switchboard operating and receptionist work.

I had many wonderful people in my life who in a lot of ways took the place of family. They helped care for my son wile I worked and were always there to give me an emotional boost when I needed one. I could not have accomplished what I have without God and without my friends ... and mostly without my son. Without my wonderful child I would never of graduated or led a happy life. It scares me now to think that I could have killed my son: abortion seems so easy.

I am now married to the most wonderful man God ever created, the mother of an incredibly beautiful five-year-old boy, and pregnant with my second child. I wouldn't have any of this if I had gone with the only option that seemed possible at 14. God gives help to those who ask for it and with God's love a person can accomplish whatever they set their mind to.

There are other options besides abortion. Look deep inside and you will find the strength to overcome whatever situations you face. Your child is worth it.

Please e-mail me if you need someone to talk to, no one can do it alone. 3beal@gte.net

Shiloa


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Posted 12 Sep 2000.

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