Aborted Women: In Their Own Words

My Decision

by R T

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At the age of 22, I was going to college taking classes for a degree I didn't want to have. I was contemplating leaving school and going to work full-time. Although, I didn't want to move back in with my parents.

My sister lived out on the east coast with her husband and three kids. She invited me to come and live with her for a while to sort out what I wanted to do. I accepted her offer. Not more than a few weeks after arriving, I met a man (we will name him John). We dated for 2 months and he asked me to move in with him. My sister didn't want me to go. She kept saying, "You don't know him, how can you just move in with him?" Of course at that time in my life, I didn't care what other people thought; I just did what I wanted to do and I moved in with him.

Three weeks after I moved in, we argued and he hurt me. The only thought running through my head was the fact that I must have done something wrong to deserve this. Then it happened again on Christmas Eve. I had bruises on my arms, my stomach was sore from when he kicked me, and I had bruises on my legs from when he walked on me. I had nowhere to go. I thought that my sister had written me off and my parents lived 1000 miles away, all I had was myself. A few days later, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. How do you tell your parents? How do you tell a guy you are living with that beats you up when he gets mad? But I told John and he yelled at me and then he told me to get out. At that moment I called my parents, explained what happened, and told them that I wanted to come home. My mother cried and said that anything I decide, she will support me. When I hung up the phone he told me again to get out. I didn't have anywhere to go. He told me to get an abortion. I couldn't do that. Then my sister called right in the middle of this argument. John grabbed the phone from me and hung up on her. She got scared that something happened and asked her husband to go get me while she called the police in the city I lived in. Two hours later my brother in-law picked me up at the police station as I was giving my statement.

I went to court two weeks later. John told the judge in court that he doesn't want me raising his child, I should get an abortion and I would be an abusive, unfit mother. I didn't have any bruises left and he denied ever placing a hand on me. John couldn't prove anything to the judge and I had no evidence of abuse from John. The case was thrown out but the judge told me to contact John when the baby was born.

My dad arrived a few days later to help me drive home and when I saw him for the first time in the airport, I just cried and all he did was hold me. I felt so loved. When my emotions finally settled down and we were able to have a conversation he asked what I was going to do. And I told him that I was going to have an abortion. He looked at me and said, "Ok, don't worry about the money." To give you an understanding of my dad, he is a Christian man that goes to church every Sunday and he believes in very strong family ties. For my dad to pay for something like this, tore me apart inside knowing how much he loves me.

The next day, I went to the clinic. I cried so hard because I was doing something that I never thought that I would do, but I knew in the long run, this would be the best thing for me.

On our 1000 mile trip we talked about everything I could do when I get back. My dad made me smile, he made me see that I could do everything I wanted to. When I arrived home, my mom didn't say one word because all I needed was a hug and that's what we did. Days later, I met with my pastor because in my heart I didn't feel right, I needed direction and I looked to the church. I thank God for forgiving me in making the decision that I made.

It has been a little over two years now. I am finishing up a Bachelors degree in Business Administration and Marketing. Plus that I am getting married to a wonderful man in August of this year. I have told him what I did and he still loves me. Every now and then I cry at what I decided to do but it is something I had to do. I am not saying that I am for abortion or for pro-life. I am saying that I am pro-decision.

If any woman out there feels pressured into getting an abortion, please just remember that it is your decision.

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Posted 12 Sep 2000.

Copyright 1999. Anonymous. Used with permission.
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