Aborted Women: In Their Own Words

... until I decided to keep one

by Danielle P.
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Hi, I am sending my story to share in hopes that it may touch someone else's heart.

My name is Danielle and I am a twenty-three year old mother of two toddlers.

My story starts when I was 15. In 1989 I met my husband, and of course we became sexually active. Four months into our relationship I became pregnant, completely mortifying news. I was so ashamed and confused, supposedly being a Christian girl, yet not wanting anyone to know the truth. With much persuasion from my boyfriend I had the abortion. I never really cried, or thought twice about it for that matter. Well as sin begins to compound, it became easier and easier to have abortions, in fact it became my/our way of birth control. Between the years of 1989-1993 I had seven abortions in all.

Everything was fine until after I married and became pregnant. This "fetus" I decided to keep, and so on December 31, 1994, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Dominee. That is when my world literally came crashing down. In the midst of what should have been a joyous time I was hit with incredible guilt and shame. Every time I looked at my beautiful baby all I could think about was the seven I had killed. Can you imagine being hit with the fact that I was a murderer! I plunged into a deep hole of depression, and my marriage showed it. So many times I wanted to take my life but did not have the courage to do so. I hated myself so much and was unworthy of any love, especially God's. I had my son Isaiah in September 1996, and that compounded the information even worse. All I wanted to do was sleep, sleep, and never wake up. Yet I had two little blessings that needed me. My marriage was failing terribly and there was no hope. No hope turns into deep despair, and as the Bible says, "Where there is no hope, there is no life." I was living proof. But somehow God got my attention and slowly nursed me back to life.

I am still recovering and so is my love and respect for my husband, who was the father of the aborted babies. I believe that God is the only one who can restore the broken heart, only if the person is willing to seek help. Even in the darkest hole, there is a light, and that is Jesus Christ.

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Posted 12 Sep 2000.

Copyright 1998 by Danielle P. Used with permission.
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