Aborted Women: In Their Own Words

Ask the guy how he feels

by Joe K.
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I got my girlfriend pregnant while we were freshmen in college. We were both 18 years old, madly in love and one day the condom broke. Being the irresponsible 18 year olds we were, we didn't think anything of it. A month later I buy her a pregnancy test because she's been acting weird and she's been getting sick a lot. When the test came out positive, I just fell against the wall, I felt like all the energy has been drained out of me. I threw up for three days straight, but I remained as supportive of her as possible. I didn't let her see me upset and worried.

She didn't know whether she wanted to keep it or have an abortion, and I told her no matter what she decides I'll support her. If she decided to keep I would do everything in my power to make it work and if she decided to have an abortion, not only would I pay half but I'd be there for emotional support. Another month goes by, and our relationship started to get rocky. She decided to keep it. She started to get moodier and started to take out all her anger and frustrations on me. Through it I remained as positive and supportive as I could.

She then started to drink, while she was pregnant. I didn't approve, after all if we wanted to keep this kid, then she shouldn't drink. I told her how I disagreed, but she kept it up. The fighting started, constant all night battles of her yelling and crying. I just couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't handle everything that she was dishing out at me and decided to end our relationship. I told her if she kept the baby I would still do everything in my power to be there for the baby. She decided to have an abortion 11 weeks into her pregnancy. I told her at that point I was opposed to it, for she waited too long and it's almost 3 months into it. She went and had it done, afterwards she brought me a copy of the ultrasound, which showed my son.

I never really cried before in my life, but that day I just sat in my dorm and cried for hours. I kept looking at the ultrasound regretting everything that I have done wrong. As strange as it sounds, I feel like I'm the one that did the killing and that I murdered my son.

It's been two months since she's done it and when I pull that ultrasound out of the drawer I still cry. I only talked to my girlfriend the day of the abortion, she was unconsolable and she was crying, I didn't know if they were tears of happiness or remorse. I later found out tears of remorse. I haven't talked to her yet. I regret that day ever happened and I'm still not over it.

I just thought I'd share the guy's perspective on abortion since all you really hear about are the woman's angle. Thanks for taking time to read this. To all the girls out there considering abortion, if your boyfriend says he'll support your decision no matter what, ask the guy how he'd feel if you went through with it. You'd be surprised at their response. Not all guys are for abortions.


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Posted 1 Jan 2005.

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