Aborted Women: In Their Own Words

I Know I Made the Right Decision

by Jill S
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My fiancé and I were planning a wedding when I became pregnant. We were not living together at the time, but we barely spent any time apart.

I was not concerned when I was three days late, I don't worry when my mail is three days late. We went to an Easter dinner with family, and my fiancé was playing with a beautiful four-year-old girl. He had surely fallen in love. Later in the evening, I was holding the girl and she was playing with my hair when she said to me, "You're a mommy!" I laughed, but was very unsettled at the same time.

Her comment wore on me and I had no symptoms of getting my period, so the next day we decided to take a pregnancy test. We were not surprised at all when it came up positive. We were both upset. The time was not right for a child to come into our lives.

We spent time talking to the child's soul; we could both feel its presence. Our baby was just too impatient ­ like her mom ­ and came to us before we were ready. We told her how much we loved her, and we wanted her very much. Just not yet. We weren't ready to be the parents she deserved. We were young, just starting out, both working full time, in debt, and too selfish. So I called the gynecologist's office and scheduled an appointment as soon as possible.

I wanted to take the time I needed to make the best informed decision that I could. I spoke with the women in my family for advice; they were non-judgmental and supportive. I read all the information I could find from both sides of the abortion issue. I saw pictures of in-utero fetuses from the pro-life people; I read medical facts from the pro-choice people. The day of my scheduled abortion, I went to a counseling session with a crisis pregnancy center (pro-life agenda), and I listened to all the information they had for me. I watched the videos, I listened to the counselor¹s point of view, I took it all into consideration. Intellectually, I was sure I wanted to terminate my pregnancy, emotionally I remained slightly ambivalent.

I went to the clinic for my 4 o'clock appointment with my fiancé, both of us prepared to leave at the slightest hint of doubt. Unfortunately, I had become inadvertently connected to the wrong clinic, and I was nowhere near the location where my appointment had been scheduled. I couldn't have the procedure done that day.

The first thing I did was begin to cry. I was just so upset that I wouldn't have everything over with. This was a good experience for me. It cleared up any doubt that I was doing something I didn't want. I was now 100% sure I wanted the abortion.

When I scheduled my new appointment the next day, I made sure I had the correct time and place. The staff at the office asked me if I understood the risks, if anyone was forcing me to abort, if I was completely sure it was what I wanted.

The next day for my appointment, the staff was kind and took excellent care of me. I was given ample information before the surgery, and was asked seven times if I was absolutely sure.

The doctor assured me that although I was nervous, I had no reason to be. I was very safe. The doctor then asked me one last time if I was absolutely sure about getting an abortion. I answered that I was sure. I then received my first dose of medication.

The procedure was gentle and painless, the doctor told me that everything had gone fine with no complications. The nurses in the recovery room were kind and attentive, and when I was ready, they walked me out to where I met my fiancé. I felt well-cared-for by the staff and by my family. I had wonderful support during a difficult time. Today, I have no regrets and I know I made the right choice.

Because my experience was good doesn't mean everyone¹s will be, and if someone's experience was bad, it doesn't reflect on everyone else. If you've had a bad experience with abortion, get help. If you¹ve had a healthy experience, help others.

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Posted 23 Apr 2002.

Copyright 2002 by Pregnant Pause
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