Aborted Women: In Their Own Words

Grateful for the Choice

by C. B.
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I was 25, going to graduate school, and with my boyfriend of two and a half years. My period was late, and I was very sick constantly, but the last thing I thought was that I could be pregnant. I don't know why; pregnancy is very natural and sometimes the result of sex. There is no shame in becoming pregnant.

I took the test on the last day of May, and when it immediately came back positive I had to call the test-making company just to make sure I had read the results correctly. I was in such denial! The lady on the phone assured me that I was most certainly pregnant, congratulated me, and then asked if she could have me answer a few questions for a survey. I numbly answered her questions, hung up and called my boyfriend at work. He's a teacher, but I made them interrupt his class so he could take the call. He calmed me down (I was crying) and said it would be okay, and we would talk when he got home.

He got home, and hugged me; said he was relieved it wasn't something worse. (I hadn't been eating or able to be out of bed for more than a few hours at a time for about three weeks.) We talked about our options. He made it clear that he did not want to be a father. I had never even thought of myself in a motherly role. My own mother was mentally ill and had been abusive to me, and I did not want children. I read up on adoption, but there are so many children already born who need families. I have always been prochoice, so I decided to obtain an abortion.

I went to a facility a few days later for the procedure. I was told I was six weeks. They did not perform a sonogram; only a pee test and a blood test. It was determined that I was Rh- and had to have an additional shot. They asked me if this was a decision of my own free will, did brief counseling on birth control (I declined ... he promised a vasectomy), and I watched a video and read papers on the procedure. I remember a lady was there that day from out of town, studying this clinic's procedures. She asked if she could "shadow" me through the process. It was nice to hold her hand, especially since they wouldn't allow my boyfriend to come with me. I was really annoyed at that; he had created half the problem and should have to go through half the solution as much as he could.

The procedure went well and I recovered quickly. I returned home and a day or so later felt much better, physically and emotionally.

I have not regretted my decision to have an abortion. I have only regretted that I had to make such a decision.

It has been two years, and I do sometimes wonder what our child would have been like. I am still with my boyfriend, we are engaged, and my views on motherhood have softened a bit. I have many friends who are all pregnant right now, and are very happy about it, and I am happy for them. I may or may not have children in the future, and I may choose to adopt them.

I am grateful for having a choice. I do understand that some women regret their abortions, but we cannot legislate against abortion because of what some women "might" feel. I get very angry at prolife supporters who do not even listen to why women get abortions. I do not think protesting outside abortion clinics with posters is going to help. I think everyone needs to recognize that women obtain abortions for varying reasons, and those reasons need addressed before any kind of positive impact can take place. No one thinks abortion is a fun activity, and no one wins the abortion debate. Let's join 'sides' and make a positive change!

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Posted 24 Mar 2007

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